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Good families make good society (Samaja Ka Merudanda Sashakta Parivara Tantra): Vangamaya Vol-48

Family-institution is an important component of democratic societies. It is a linkage between the individuals and the society. The social system is formed by interactions between the families…. The first training school of a child is his family. Sound foundation of morality and good tendencies in the family naturally endows one with associated virtues and habits.
Cultivation of the healthy tendencies of mutual respect, co-operation and sharing of responsibilities, tolerance, creativity, industriousness, etc in a family ensures happiness of all its members even in the state of poverty or adversities of circumstances. Mutual conflicts, clashes of ego and selfish attitudes within the family on the contrary, make one’s life difficult and may lead to psychological disorders or family-breakups etc, despite abundance of materialistic comforts, external means of entertainment and wealth. One’s overall personality development too depends on the background set in the family…
Realizing the inevitable role of familial atmosphere in the development of individuals and the society, ages ago, the Indian rishis – the experts of the Science of Spirituality, Psychology and Sociology – had given due importance to family institution in the Indian Culture. It was perhaps the foundation of ideal family institution which had generated so many great personalities on this land and bestowed divine environment of life here.
In its original form, the Indian culture and social system grants equal importance and share of responsibility to both the parents – the mother and the father. The married couples, having integrity of character, maturity, mutual understanding, sense of responsibility towards the children, family and the society, are termed sadgrahastha here. In such an ideal pair, the husband and wife, as true lovers and compatible life-partners, should naturally help successive refinement and escalation of each other’s personality too.
Acharya Sahrma has described sadgrahasthas as the strength of a society and a nation…. Because, it is these people who are the architects of the future generations of citizens. His views, driven from thorough understanding of human psychology and its interrelation with the cultural and social system, are worth reading in this context. Every married or ‘would be’ married couple must read this volume and get adept guidance on how and why should they become sadgrahasthas? Single individuals too should read it to know what is are their duties towards the other members of the family and what the family should offer to them….?
Today, when the social and cultural systems are facing the worst ever crisis of all round decline and the entire world is suffering from different kinds of problems, calamities and dangers in several respects, every thoughtful mind feels somewhat concerned and suspicious about the future…. Thinkers, experts and policy makers have carried out thorough discussions and analyzed the situation at large number of national and international forums. Varieties of reasons and remedies have been identified and also applied in actions. The complexities and magnitude of the crisis are so high that despite sincere efforts from several directions, since several years, no viable control or solution appears to be in the offing….
If one seriously pays attention to the deeper roots of the volatile expansion of the multitudes of adversities and irregularities and traces back the genesis of the problems in any domain of life, there would appear one predominant cause – evil tendencies and weaknesses of human mind. Malice of thoughts – generated by selfish and possessive attitude, passion for power, comfort and sensual pleasures – though manifested in different forms with varied degrees of sophistication and support of clever intellect, has infected, adulterated and spoiled the original environment of happy and healthy life.
The inherent qualities of humanity and virtuous tendencies if assimilated in the inner cores of mind since the childhood, help control the agility of mind and prevent the pressure of its ‘natural’ animal instincts which usually trigger it into untoward passions. Such pre-conditioning and proper orientation of mental character is totally missing these days. In the absence of this cultural refinement, even the highly civilized, intelligent and technologically advanced man of today has failed in generating strength of character and viable peace and happiness.
Unchecked tendencies of human mind have put the human society at an edge of suicidal crisis. Why all this happened? What led to the cultural and moral decline and psychological complexities which have practically wiped out the serene sentiments of love, compassion and altruist service from the people’s hearts? A single and simple answer would be: “deterioration and negligence of the foundation – the family institution has allowed the poisonous root of evil tendencies grow and manifest itself into above kinds of disasters”. It is this foundation which needs to be refined and strengthened on war footing… It is the need of the day…. We all, as Acharya Sharma has guided in this volume, should collectively try our level best to remove the hurdles in reviving the sacred and prudent traditions of the family-institution.
As we all know and experience, man is a social animal and cannot survive absolutely all alone without the direct or indirect support of others. One learns the first lesson of co-operation and sharing from his family only. The survival and healthy growth of the youngsters will not be possible without proper care by his family members…. It is the responsibility of the grownups to pay as much attention to the maintenance of proper progress of their families as they pay to their own bodily and mental comforts. If the elders in the family are endowed with integrity of character and virtues and also bring the associated qualities into practical use in day-to-day life, the children too are most likely to adopt such tendencies by default.
In Acharya Sharma’s words, the best kind of social service can be provided by an individual to the world by sincere endeavors of cultivating virtuous tendencies in his own family by observing a balanced attitude towards affection and necessary disciplines. One, who truly loves his family and desires a happy and prosperous future for all his dear and near ones, would always take care that every member of his family – including himself, becomes a serene and cultured citizen who is sincerely engaged in continuous refinement, escalation and creative use of his or her talents. The family institution is indeed like a laboratory, training school, nursery or factory for generation and expansion of ideal tendencies and for setting the background for righteous development of personality.
The author has advised a “panchsheel” (five point formula) for righteous development of personality (refer volume nos. 2, 20 and 21 of this series). He has also described a “panchsheel” for the ideal family-institution. The five points here correspond to cultivation of – (i) industriousness; (ii) sanctity and orderliness; (iii) economic and creative use of the resources; (iv) modesty and honesty; and (v) cooperating generosity. Even if a handful of families in every village, town and city adopt these panchsheels in practice, the associated positive effects will begin to show in no time and attract ever increasing number of people towards theses simple but effective principles and practices. Soon the benefits will be seen at the social level too.
There is a systematic science of progress and development in the personal, familial and social domains of our life. This is based on deeper understanding of the human mind and heart (the core of sentiments). Likewise in any other scientific discipline, here too one needs continuous experimentation, innovative research. However, the research and implementation here should have relevance with the basic aim of maintaining the steady flow of ideal tendencies against all odds in the changing circumstances of life….
Acharya Sharma was a perfect scientist of humanity. His original ideas, experience and long term research on different aspects of human life have brought new, hitherto unknown facets of Spirituality and Total Psychology in scientific light and showed their predominant role in every dimension, every activity of human life. He has also suggested practical ways of using these findings for the overall elevation of human society and creating a far better environment of life in the present times. This volume has emerged from his related deliberations on family-institution which, as he has emphasized, is the spine of the body of the human society.
Today, when the concept of joint family has almost lost its existence and the term “family” is practically seen limited only to a group of husband, wife and their little children, Acharya Sharma has presented the revolutionary idea of “larger family” – constituted by groups of separate and independent but mutually co-operating families; each constituent family maintains virtuous development of its members and constantly shares experience with the other families. This way, the relatives’ families can also become truly friendly and the elders and the youngsters of the ‘large family’ can benefit from each other’s talents, experience and ideas without any direct clash of ego or conflict of generation-gap.
In the present scenario of the Indian society, the ‘obligation’ of mutual respect and tolerance in the joint families is increasingly becoming difficult for the members to follow. Also, the economic pressures and narrow attitudes of members often shake the desired balance in the joint families. This usually results in breakups between the near and dear ones and also leads to untoward consequences of serious nature. Such possibilities are avoided in the broader concept of “larger families” where people willingly co-operate on the basis of friendly relationship, as per mutual compatibility among the groups of ‘small’ families without any ‘imposed constraint’ of lineage or the prejudiced notion of ‘blood relation’. The training of co-operation, mutual respect and friendly relationship nurtured at a wider domain in the members of a “larger family” gradually makes them understand and love their relatives too with whom they might not have gotten along well earlier in the joint family…..
Several experiments on the relevance and feasibility of “larger families” are successfully conducted under the banner of “Gayatri Pariwar” mission inspired by Acharya Sharma. Hundreds of families residing in the mission’s centre at Shantikunj, Hardwar (India) have set a live example of what the author has described about this new expansion of family-institution. These also demonstrate – how the collective efforts of “larger families” could lead to the development of a self-reliant, happy and truly progressive society.
In the present circumstances, people across the globe are largely found suffering the pains of loneliness despite even being over-occupied with large number of ‘professional interactions’ and having abundance of entertaining means. Nothing could offer more soothing relief to such people than the warmth of family-relations. Shattered married life – licentious attitude and lake of natural love, mutual trust and respect among the married couples, broken families, constrained development of children, etc, are curse on the modern human society. This is the reason why, in spite of having the best of the boons of scientific and technological advancement, people are facing the worst kinds of sufferings due to varieties of psychological problems driven by depression, aggression, stress, suspicion, jealousy, feeling of insecurity, etc.
The natural spring of blissfulness and compassion is fast drying out from the hearts of people. The best and natural means of saving the disastrous consequences is – reestablishment of healthy family-institution. The present volume offers substantial guidelines with reasoned deliberations and authentic examples for all individuals, families and societies around the globe to resurrect the glory of the family-institution using best of their own capabilities. All the married couples as well as those who are going to be so in near future, must pay special attention to the author’s call for important role of the sadgrahasthas in maintaining the ideals of the family-institution. They may also benefit from participation in the special training programs run at Shantikunj, Hardwar for this noble purpose.